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Author Topic: A reflection upon my activities (67 messages, Page 1 of 2)
Moderators: Dennis

sparky
Joined: Jun 27, 2009

Jesus is a friend to the vindictive sociopath


Posted: Jul 5, 2015 07:53 PM    Msg. 1 of 67       

Edited by sparky on Aug 20, 2015 at 01:35 PM


sparky
Joined: Jun 27, 2009

Jesus is a friend to the vindictive sociopath


Posted: Jul 5, 2015 08:15 PM    Msg. 2 of 67       

Edited by sparky on Aug 20, 2015 at 01:35 PM


Mootjuh
Joined: Mar 12, 2008

Hilariously derailing oneliner


Posted: Jul 5, 2015 08:16 PM    Msg. 3 of 67       
If you expect for praise in modding, you're modding the wrong game. You do it either for fun or for building up a portfolio. There is no reason to do so other than that.


kirby_422
Joined: Jan 22, 2006

Apparently public enemy number 1?


Posted: Jul 5, 2015 08:23 PM    Msg. 4 of 67       
Quote: --- Original message by: sparky
For several of my projects, I have gone into great detail about what I am doing along the way

I actually believe that's one of the things bothering a number of us. Most of your posts that I myself have seen, have been just giant plans. I have seen more plans than actual work, and the few bits of work I have seen, have been menial things like user interfaces and skins for your application, and then some random proof of concept level that is pointless without the unreleased application.

Quote: --- Original message by: sparky
Yet I am left wondering why I am doing this.

Most people receive compensation for their work. To put things succinctly, I will not be receiving any form of compensation for my work.

That's why you should only be working on things, that you personally want to work on; to work on something you hate doing, without receiving any money, is pretty foolish. If praises is what your after, that's almost as foolish, especially with a community this small; if you satisfy 10% of people here, that could be around 4 members. If it was something like a whole new game, where entire gamer communities would see it, 10% could be thousands of people. If you do it for yourself, and other happen to also enjoy it, its merely a bonus, but your target audience should be yourself.

Quote: --- Original message by: sparky
Also, I get treated inhumanely. I get random insults directed towards my character and my intelligence. These people who are insulting me would be the beneficiaries of my work. Why should I do anything for someone who lacks basic human decency? Do you think I should do kind things and incredible amounts of work for them, all for free, while the result is them feeling like they can treat someone like dirt and have the right to expect them to do whatever they want for them in return? This is nonsense.

Its likely the people who treat you poorly aren't the people who will be using your application. Given the overall response to your work, I am doubting many people will be choosing to use your applications anyways. OpenSauce is currently available, yet hardly anyone uses it and all the benefits it supplies.

Quote: --- Original message by: sparky
Why should I bother to do what I am doing?

I have been working on things like synchronization of artificial intelligence and other things which people claim is impossible but which I see as einfach. And yet as I am doing these things and working hard on seeing it happen, even now, I get disrespect. Am I to expect a kind of respect or praise as a result of my work? If I do not see anything like that now, I will not see anything like that later. And besides, respect and praise are detestable to me and hold no motivation for me.

Why then am I doing what I am doing?

If the answer is not for yourself (either directly because you want to tools, or because you need the experience and source code to put on your resume), then there is no reason. The fact you have to question this, means there is no reason.


Nickster5000
Joined: Dec 11, 2010


Posted: Jul 5, 2015 09:21 PM    Msg. 5 of 67       
Quote: --- Original message by: sparky
I think what I'm really asking here is why should I care about the Halo communities when they don't care about me?


The way you treat others and carry yourself speaks volumes of what kind of person you are. All I see you do is talk, talk, talk, and nothing else. Instead of typing out these long threads, why dont you spend that time actually putting work towards something. Actions speak louder than words man.
Edited by Nickster5000 on Jul 5, 2015 at 09:22 PM


Maniac1000
-Helpful Poster-
Joined: Feb 24, 2007


Posted: Jul 5, 2015 09:30 PM    Msg. 6 of 67       
A wise man once told me not to say "I" or "me" so many times, when asked why my readme was not uploaded with my map that I made by myself, aye:)
Edited by Maniac1000 on Jul 5, 2015 at 09:37 PM


Bungie LLC
Joined: Dec 29, 2013

friendly neighborhood contrarian funposter


Posted: Jul 5, 2015 10:04 PM    Msg. 7 of 67       
Quote: --- Original message by: Zetren

Ok, I'm going to offer help, insofar as a yuppie boy of 18 can. In all earnestness, I want to see you happy. I would advise looking into Stefan Molyneux, Alice Miller and Gabor Mate if you would like to understand how one's early environment profoundly effects one's disposition, mental health, and worldview. With best intentions, I tell you that your problems lie within you, not outside of you. And I'm not talking about Halo problems.
Edited by Zetren on Jul 5, 2015 at 08:48 PM


all you managed to do was embarrass yourself by revealing your edgy 18-year-old pseudo-philosopher power level. stop projecting your asperger garbage so hard on to other people

to OP: either stop with the circumlocutions and blogging and make things because you want to, or stop making things and go somewhere else. just because you think you're some free worker for the greater good does not make you entitled to anything.


not giraffe
Joined: Jul 17, 2014


Posted: Jul 5, 2015 10:09 PM    Msg. 8 of 67       
So what you want is compensation?




Darkzealotx
Joined: Jun 15, 2014


Posted: Jul 5, 2015 10:25 PM    Msg. 9 of 67       
Quote: --- Original message by: sparky

Yet I am left wondering why I am doing this.

Most people receive compensation for their work. To put things succinctly, I will not be receiving any form of compensation for my work

I think what I'm really asking here is why should I care about the Halo communities when they don't care about me?


Here is you're answer: You Don't. It's simple, if you're doing this for fame and praise you better stop now and go do something you actually like, like a hobby. You are not the first guy here who has a 'project' and so I can assure you that in the end if whatever you're making even gets finnished, NO ONE here wil offer you the 'form of compensation' you might have been expecting.

Quote: --- Original message by: sparky
Also, I get treated inhumanely. I get random insults directed towards my character and my intelligence. These people who are insulting me would be the beneficiaries of my work. Why should I do anything for someone who lacks basic human decency? Do you think I should do kind things and incredible amounts of work for them, all for free, while the result is them feeling like they can treat someone like dirt and have the right to expect them to do whatever they want for them in return? This is nonsense.


If you knew more about this place and the little immature children it contains then this shouldn't even need an explanation. If you do not have the ability to ignore trolls and little kids then stop and just leave. This is just another reason why you shouldn't be doing this for fame and praise. Everyone else is just being realistic because 95% of the projects that are shown here will never ever see the day. And so far you have not shown us how you're project distinguishes itself from the other 95%.

Quote: --- Original message by: sparky Why should I bother to do what I am doing?
Seeing as you don't do this for you're own fun and self esteem you might as well just quit. It's as simple as that.


sparky
Joined: Jun 27, 2009

Jesus is a friend to the vindictive sociopath


Posted: Jul 5, 2015 11:15 PM    Msg. 10 of 67       

Edited by sparky on Aug 20, 2015 at 01:35 PM


Echo77
Joined: Jul 20, 2010

Humble thyself and hold thy tongue.


Posted: Jul 5, 2015 11:48 PM    Msg. 11 of 67       
Quote: --- Original message by: sparky
I'm probably more than twice your age, have been heralded on numerous occasions as a genius by my highly-esteemed, world-renowned professors at one of the most prestigious collegiate schools in the world that I attended with a full scholarship, and furthermore, I know God. Not one person who has ridiculed me with pointless insults can say the same for themselves.

But yes, it is only a computer game, and one of questionable moral stance anyway. I've invented more entertaining games than Halo.

And I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals. But this is the internet. Such reputation means little or nothing here because of the difficulty of verification. It is also an incredibly arrogant thing to say ("I'm a really big deal and all of you are inferior to me"), and probably a contributing factor in why people express such displeasure with you.

This is Halomaps. There are people here who are not nice. It's be great if everybody got along, but that's not the way things are. No one cares about the hypothetical gains, they want tangible results. Until they have their hands on those tangible results, continuing to take the whole self-righteous victim stance is just going to dig you into a deeper hole. The more arrogant people perceive you to be, the less they're going to care about whatever supposed benefits you may bring to the community, and the more they're going to want to knock you off your high horse. The more you demand respect, the less they're going to want to give. You're not going to get widespread, voiced approval from people who feed on emotional strife and discontent.
Edited by Echo77 on Jul 5, 2015 at 11:54 PM


Jesse
Joined: Jan 18, 2009

Discord: Holy Crust#4500


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 12:05 AM    Msg. 12 of 67       
You had better pray for kirby's forgiveness.

And Dennis' too.


General_101
Joined: Dec 23, 2013

Apparently all I post is spam.


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 12:11 AM    Msg. 13 of 67       
I honestly want to call you an idiot but this entire thread just makes me cringe. Please go get help or something. You really need to see a specialist.


Spartan314
Joined: Aug 21, 2010

Former biped rigger & FP animator


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 12:24 AM    Msg. 14 of 67       
I was going to write a lengthy reply, but I don't know you, and you don't know me.
You're asking these questions as if you were introduced to the internet yesterday and born the day before that.
Your arrogance and childishness is nauseating to say the least, so I'll keep this short.
Ask yourself the questions and not random strangers on the internet. Put the word "self" before reflection and take time to evaluate. I'm sure you'll find better answers that way than you'll ever find on a Halomaps thread.
...but hey, I'm just a random stranger on the internet.

E: This turned out pretty lengthy anyway lol
The bad news I had before: If you're questioning why you're doing what you do, there is absolutely no reason for you to be doing it. If you think you're doing this "for the greater good" you're completely deluding yourself. My recommendation is that you cease all work on the project, and finding a new one you actually enjoy.
Edited by Spartan314 on Jul 6, 2015 at 12:24 AM


Dennis

Joined: Jan 27, 2005

"We are made of starstuff. ― Carl Sagan


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 12:26 AM    Msg. 15 of 67       
This is not directed specifically at you, well...it sort of is, but I cringe when I see people make these statements:
Quote: --- Original message by: Echo77
But this is the internet.
The implication here is that the Internet is not reality. But is surely is. It has mass and substance and real people, not imaginary ones, who use it to communicate with others. Regardless of if you are hiding behind a pseudonym the things you (royal you) post are very real and can have consequences. How you communicate with others using this medium is just as telling as how you would do so face to face.


Quote: --- Original message by: Echo77
This is Halomaps. There are people here who are not nice.

Yes this is Halomaps. That is the domain you are posting on. The only thing different from other forums is that the majority of members are Scientifically proven to have an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex. Meaning they are teenagers and have not yet developed impulse control and self moderation. It also means that they will not even realize it for several years yet.


Echo77
Joined: Jul 20, 2010

Humble thyself and hold thy tongue.


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 12:51 AM    Msg. 16 of 67       
Quote: --- Original message by: Dennis
This is not directed specifically at you, well...it sort of is, but I cringe when I see people make these statements:
Quote: --- Original message by: Echo77
But this is the internet.
The implication here is that the Internet is not reality. But is surely is. It has mass and substance and real people, not imaginary ones, who use it to communicate with others. Regardless of if you are hiding behind a pseudonym the things you (royal you) post are very real and can have consequences. How you communicate with others using this medium is just as telling as how you would do so face to face.

I see what you're getting at, but the fact that everyone is hidden behind a pseudonym allows people to say things that they most likely wouldn't say in "reality," in a face-to-face interaction, because the anonymity does a decent job of shielding you from tangible repercussions. It's a lot easier to scream slurs at a stranger on the internet than it is to walk up to a man on the street and do the same, because a stranger on the internet cannot punch you in the face.


MEGA_VKNG
Joined: Dec 23, 2013


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 12:59 AM    Msg. 17 of 67       
why did God take my dog.


xnx
Joined: Feb 12, 2013

h2 marine anims or i detonate the vest


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 01:02 AM    Msg. 18 of 67       
God, why isn't my dick bigger?


Dennis

Joined: Jan 27, 2005

"We are made of starstuff. ― Carl Sagan


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 01:22 AM    Msg. 19 of 67       
Quote: --- Original message by: Echo77
I see what you're getting at, but the fact that everyone is hidden behind a pseudonym allows people to say things that they most likely wouldn't say in "reality," in a face-to-face interaction, because the anonymity does a decent job of shielding you from tangible repercussions. It's a lot easier to scream slurs at a stranger on the internet than it is to walk up to a man on the street and do the same, because a stranger on the internet cannot punch you in the face.
Pseudo-anonymity or face to face you are still "screaming slurs at a stranger". It is still real. It is still you (again the royal you) that said it. Words do have consequences, that is why we use them. A convincing argument could be made that the pseudo-anonymity affords a better insight into the person's real character.


Roushyy
Joined: Jun 25, 2015

Character animator.


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 02:38 AM    Msg. 20 of 67       
Quote: --- Original message by: Dennis
-snip-

I just want to say quickly, damn. I hardly ever see you post and when you do it's usually to point out immaturity or stupidity (not going to lie, I've been on the business end of some of that) but every time you post something it seems to have a purpose.

It almost seems "tactical" at this point. Like you analyze the situation and handle it the most efficient way imaginable. It's quite literally terrifying and I have no idea how you do it.

I guess you could say being on the Internet vs. in person gives you more time to contemplate what you're going to say. But seriously, you seem to be able to just reroute a topic within a couple of posts and it's ridiculously effective.

10/10 for cool moderator guy who I wouldn't mind talking to irl


NeX
Joined: Apr 11, 2013


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 06:39 AM    Msg. 21 of 67       
Because he's old as dirt. DAT wisdom yo


R93_Sniper
Joined: Feb 13, 2011

When in Doubt, RUN!


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 07:19 AM    Msg. 22 of 67       
I'm more surprised Dennis actually took the time out to respond at all instead of locking with a warning. Kudos to you Dennis (that's not meant to be sarcastic so please don't take it as such).


Darkzealotx
Joined: Jun 15, 2014


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 10:07 AM    Msg. 23 of 67       
Quote: --- Original message by: sparky
But I will tell you what I want. I want you to not insult me.
I never did. All I did was point the obvious facts and truth.

Quote: --- Original message by: sparkyI'm probably more than twice your age, have been heralded on numerous occasions as a genius by my highly-esteemed, world-renowned professors at one of the most prestigious collegiate schools in the world that I attended with a full scholarship, and furthermore, I know God. Not one person who has ridiculed me with pointless insults can say the same for themselves.


If what you're saying here is even close to the truth, then this topic shouldn't even exist. It's probably arrogant comments like these that draw out the attention of immature kids and trolls who keep treating you 'inhumanely'.

And let me tell you this dude, if you knew anything about god you wouldn't be anything near this attitude. And i'm in no way trying to disrespect you.


bourrin33
Joined: Oct 19, 2009

HEK not installed tho


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 11:10 AM    Msg. 24 of 67       
The problem is right here : stop asking stupid questions, and stop asking yourself stupid questions.

If you take the time to answer your things through creating things, rather than questionning people and bragging about how good your stuff would be, you will have answers to your stupid questions through experience.

Most of discussions with you are sterile anyways because you end up placing yourself like a victim, and we can do nothing for that because you suck at defending yourself, as you have crap experience based on what the others says. = nothing done, nothing solid.


Roushyy
Joined: Jun 25, 2015

Character animator.


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 11:28 AM    Msg. 25 of 67       
I can already see where this is going.

Sparky, you need to stop acting like everything everyone says is a personal attack. It's not.

If you ask for critique, expect it.
If you ask for advice, be aware that 'advice' doesn't mean 'tell me what I want to hear'.

And this:
Quote: --- Original message by: sparky I'm probably more than twice your age, have been heralded on numerous occasions as a genius by my highly-esteemed, world-renowned professors at one of the most prestigious collegiate schools in the world that I attended with a full scholarship, and furthermore, I know God. Not one person who has ridiculed me with pointless insults can say the same for themselves.


Would you mind mentioning the name of this school? Or one of your "world-renowned professors"? Maybe you can provide proof of your scholarship, which I'm sure you have. While you're at it, why don't you go ahead and realize this is the internet, not a job application. Providing minimal proof about your "work" on Zeus only serves to complicate it further. If you had the sense to release a new version every now and then instead of just saying "it will be ready in 1.0" then you would get much less negativity and trolling.

I'm not going to shove my religious beliefs down your throat, because you can believe whatever, but God doesn't exist. To believe that there is a supernatural, all-powerful and all-knowing being that controls everything is nothing short of delusional and I don't care what "proof" you have. To say that you met, spoke to, or know this God is truly ridiculous. The Bible is just a book. That's all it is. Those who believe it are ironically some of the most hateful, prejudiced, and insane people I know, despite what it teaches.

Acting as if you're better than everyone else because you have / do things we don't is counterproductive and will only get you further from what you want. I guarantee with that attitude you're never going to find a job. It doesn't matter how smart you are, or what degree you have, because all your peers looking for a job have one too. What matters is what you can do, what puts you apart from the crowd that makes you worth hiring?

TL;DR Sparky stop being immature and you will stop getting immature responses.


Mourinho
Joined: Jun 7, 2015

elo


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 11:48 AM    Msg. 26 of 67       
Quote: --- Original message by: sparky

But I will tell you what I want. I want you to not insult me. I want you to not convey a demeaning or pejorative attitude towards me. Do you honestly think I am stupid? I'm probably more than twice your age, have been heralded on numerous occasions as a genius by my highly-esteemed, world-renowned professors at one of the most prestigious collegiate schools in the world that I attended with a full scholarship, and furthermore, I know God. Not one person who has ridiculed me with pointless insults can say the same for themselves. I don't want your respect because I don't care about your respect. However, it would be good for you to not show me blatant disrespect, especially when you can clearly see that I am working so hard on doing nice things for you, in order to make this game fun.
Edited by sparky on Jul 5, 2015 at 11:32 PM


Wow, arrogant much? I got some news for ya m9, no one here gives a horse crap about how ''heralded'' you have been as a genius. You are not any different here then any other person here just because you claim to be a highly superior educated master(Wich i highly doubt you actually are). People like you probably deserve to get treated like the way you are. I have seen what you are working on and how people treat you.

And the way people treat you is no different or worse then how other people here get treated.
There will always be haters. And if you think you are an exception because you think you're making 1337 or because you're some superior educated tough shot, then you are sorely mistaken.


The Kingx
Joined: Mar 16, 2014

ᕙ༼ ಠ益ಠ༽ᕗ


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 12:00 PM    Msg. 27 of 67       


well isnt this something


Echo77
Joined: Jul 20, 2010

Humble thyself and hold thy tongue.


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 12:09 PM    Msg. 28 of 67       
Quote: --- Original message by: Dennis
Quote: --- Original message by: Echo77
I see what you're getting at, but the fact that everyone is hidden behind a pseudonym allows people to say things that they most likely wouldn't say in "reality," in a face-to-face interaction, because the anonymity does a decent job of shielding you from tangible repercussions. It's a lot easier to scream slurs at a stranger on the internet than it is to walk up to a man on the street and do the same, because a stranger on the internet cannot punch you in the face.
Pseudo-anonymity or face to face you are still "screaming slurs at a stranger". It is still real. It is still you (again the royal you) that said it. Words do have consequences, that is why we use them. A convincing argument could be made that the pseudo-anonymity affords a better insight into the person's real character.

Words definitely have consequences, but I'm saying that the internet makes it easier for a mean person to show how mean they really are. That's why I distinguish between "the internet" and "reality": not because one is a fantasy world with no consequences, but because one is a realm of extremes.


Darkzealotx
Joined: Jun 15, 2014


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 12:14 PM    Msg. 29 of 67       
Quote: --- Original message by: War Master V
I can already see where this is going.

I'm not going to shove my religious beliefs down your throat, because you can believe whatever, but God doesn't exist. To believe that there is a supernatural, all-powerful and all-knowing being that controls everything is nothing short of delusional and I don't care what "proof" you have. To say that you met, spoke to, or know this God is truly ridiculous. The Bible is just a book. That's all it is. Those who believe it are ironically some of the most hateful, prejudiced, and insane people I know, despite what it teaches.


And I can already see where this here is going.

first off, who are you? Who are you to tell him or us that god doesn't exist? You say that believing in god is nothing short of a delusional and you don't care what proof anyone has to say but yet you don't have any proof yourself. And then you call those who believe in it are all ironically some of the most hateful, prejudiced, and insane people that you know of, just because the complexity of our lives may go beyond you're own knowing.

You probably don't even know what it's all about. From that I can already draw the conclusion that are not a scientist nor a person who has educated himself enough in this matter to make the claim ''god does not exist''. Just because you don't believe in god doesn't mean it's a proven fact nor give you any right to make such a claims.


Dennis

Joined: Jan 27, 2005

"We are made of starstuff. ― Carl Sagan


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 12:17 PM    Msg. 30 of 67       
Quote: --- Original message by: War Master V
It almost seems "tactical" at this point. Like you analyze the situation and handle it the most efficient way imaginable. It's quite literally terrifying and I have no idea how you do it.
Being old as dirt does have advantages.

Quote: --- Original message by: sparky

Why am I doing this?

Yet I am left wondering why I am doing this.

Why should I bother to do what I am doing?

Why then am I doing what I am doing?

MY dad once told me something that stuck with me: "Don't tell them what you are going to do. Show them what you've done."

You appear to be looking for external validation and accolades for something you haven't done yet. No one but the face in the mirror can really determine your motivations. But I can tall you one thing. If you are doing it to be liked then you will be disappointed in the results.


Rosanna Weyland
Joined: Apr 4, 2013

Up and down, and all around.


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 12:39 PM    Msg. 31 of 67       
*post deleted by admin for rules violation
READ THE RULES:
http://forum.halomaps.org/index.cfm?page=topic&topicID=2979

Bypassed profanity filter
Edited by Dennis on Jul 6, 2015 at 02:07 PM


MEGA_VKNG
Joined: Dec 23, 2013


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 01:21 PM    Msg. 32 of 67       
lets all get hyped for darkcode tag editor instead.


Roushyy
Joined: Jun 25, 2015

Character animator.


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 02:48 PM    Msg. 33 of 67       
Quote: does anyone here know what it feels like to be hated be everyone
picked on all the time bullyed all the time being home alone nearly everyday every year loseing your sanity
has anyone here been scared of everything hu
being called mental just becuase your diffrent
teachers being happy getting me sent home away from other people being used so people can get money

noone i bet has these troubles


sparky
Joined: Jun 27, 2009

Jesus is a friend to the vindictive sociopath


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 06:02 PM    Msg. 34 of 67       

Edited by sparky on Aug 20, 2015 at 01:35 PM


Nickster5000
Joined: Dec 11, 2010


Posted: Jul 6, 2015 06:41 PM    Msg. 35 of 67       
Quote: --- Original message by: sparky
I do what I do because I recognize the need for it among those I see.


Well, in that case then...



 
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